Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize