She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
