i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
