whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
