I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
