ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
where are you?
Hypothermia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
