is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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