I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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