I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
