Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
