And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
