Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize