that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
