ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize