when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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