My hair reeks of homosexuality.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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