Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
