Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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