drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
