In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
