i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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