Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
