ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
