Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
