also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
