all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When are your genitals available?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
