Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I look better un-naked...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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