Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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