The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
