i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
