Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
