found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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