In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
