just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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