thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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