So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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