so that wasnt chicken after all
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
