You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
