I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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