I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
