that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
