dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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