Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
