my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
