im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
