NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
