DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Semen is not good for contacts.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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