just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
