He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
