All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
