So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
