I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
