I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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