I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
