i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
