it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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