The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
