Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize