I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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