i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
accomplished twins. life is a go
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
