Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
